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Offseason Anagram Wrap: Cardinals
2006-03-02 00:51
by Score Bard

Ordinarily, there's a simple rule of thumb: Lost good players--Regress; Gained good players--improve. But this line of thinking doesn't apply to the Orderly Fans of St. Louis. I will explain why, but first, a question:

 

What Am I Drawing?

 

What Am I Drawing?

 

Back to the matter at hand: if Cardinal fans Yearn Honesty, let me give my Kindest Advice: for every Yak Ring that leaves, there's a Barren Poodle waiting to step in. If one player Has Injuring Season, another will Unjam A Toe. For most teams, these changes are a big deal. In St. Louis, these things do not matter. The truth is this simple:

As long as the Cardinals Just Rope Ball, they will contend.

Anyone who says otherwise is just trying to Spin Your Jive. OK, I'm outta here. Ciao, Thugs!

40-man roster:
PitchersB/THtWtDOB
41Barren PoodleR/R6-322010/28/74
54Carnal MiceL/L5-1018511/04/78
71Corn VanishersL/L6-320512/20/81
30Elk Drum ArmL/L6-621508/05/77
44Has Injuring SeasonR/R6-323009/07/72
21Iraq Jams On UsL/R6-121008/21/78
61Only Jet HornsS/L6-218006/07/81
34Orderly FansL/L6-018007/31/75
73Rad Ironic CornL/L5-919004/13/70
37Sane Puff PJR/R6-222001/02/75
48Shopmart BondR/R6-119001/31/82
13Snoopy SinnedR/R6-125511/02/76
29Sphincter RacerR/R6-623004/27/75
72Unjam A ToeR/R6-218012/17/82
60What Am I Drawing?R/R6-720508/30/81
23Yearn HonestyR/R6-221510/16/81
CatchersB/THtWtDOB
28Benny TargetR/R6-021004/17/72
74Men Haze ChildrenR/R6-021008/12/78
4Yield RomaniaR/R5-1122507/13/82
InfieldersB/THtWtDOB
75Barred NannyR/R6-219503/26/82
62Crunch As DinL/R6-521005/05/81
5Just Rope BallR/R6-322501/16/80
22Kindest AdviceR/R5-716501/20/75
7Nuclear HotR/R6-117002/01/80
76Savant RhinosL/R6-219501/24/81
12Sore AnimalS/R5-718012/15/76
3Spin Your JiveR/R6-020001/28/75
27Tent ColorsR/R6-424004/04/75
35Vizier CudR/R6-020011/06/72
OutfieldersB/THtWtDOB
99Ciao, ThugsR/R5-1016507/02/69
15DNS Jedi MomL/L6-121006/27/70
33Gerbil By AirL/R6-421011/04/77
53Horizon JudgerL/L6-020501/20/78
86Ice Kid RogerR/R6-118012/22/80
43Inane Cajun AcornR/R6-321503/08/76
55Kicker MashupsL/R5-1017502/03/80
31LL Hogan JR/R6-019504/02/78
49Nail KickerL/L6-121507/19/79

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