Baseball Toaster was unplugged on February 4, 2009.
toaster 'at" humbug.com
Travis Cammilleri (Candia, NH): Score Bard, how long do you think it will be before the Mets begin their fire sale? Boston sure could use Stanton, Weathers or Benitez!!!
A fire sale must start with a fire
So fire Phillips first, and then hire
A GM who's smart
To tear them apart
And find some young studs to acquire.
Adam (Ottawa, Canada): Hi Score Bard, What is going on with the A's in 1 run ball games? Last year they seemed to win the majority of them, and this year can't seem to win any. Is their bullpen just not that good? Or is it lack of offensive production from their star players when it counts? Who's your pick to win it all this season?
I don't really think it's the pen.
I think they leave too many men
Out in scoring position;
They need Miggi Magician
To do that clutch hit trick again.
Nick (Greensboro, NC): HEY Score Bard. Enjoy your work. In your opinion do you see batters in the future still trying to hug the plate? Or do you see them backing off a little? Thanks.
I'm sure it would cause a debate
And players would get quite irate
If like Fidrych the Bird
Someone mad or absurd
Bent down to embrace the home plate.
Matt (Bradenton, FL): For some reason, Lou Piniella started batting Rocco Baldelli fourth behind Aubrey Huff this week. This is a reversal of their usual positions. Why would you ever want to bat your best hitter for average behind your best home run hitter? I don't understand why he made this swap -- and it doesn't seem to be working, as the Rays lost all three games against Texas.
Lou must have seen quite enough
Of pitching around Aubrey Huff.
You can't pitch around Rocco
Because he won't walk, so
If you don't like it--well, tough.
Nick (San Diego): Hey Score Bard, is there anything better than broadcasting a Red Sox-Yankees game with Curt Goudy? That was terrific! Where does it rank on your list of most memorable achievements?
I once ate some curt gouda cheese
Which I wouldn't much care to reprise.
As for Curt Gowdy
I'm glad he said howdy
I like to hear old retirees.
Scott (Toledo): Bud Selig did lees than well with Bob Costes this week on HBO. How important is it for the next Commissioner to do well in the media and Public appearances? What are the chances of anyone outside baseball ever serving in this position?
I think that perhaps you forgot
The commish doesn't do diddly squat.
Old Bowie Kuhn
Was just a buffoon
Baseball still grew. It matters not.
Jeff (Los Altos): Score Bard, what is the most over rated statistic in baseball?
wayne (new yawk): Score Bard, I understand that players sometimes pick which team they want to go into the HoF for greedy reasons, but I think players should really be able to at least speak to a committee or something about the reasons they want the team they want to be picked. On that note, I think Roger has earned the right to choose whichever team he wants to go into the HoF. It doesn't hurt for me that he wants to go in as a New York Yankee! What are your thoughts?
By far, the most dumb, useless stat
Is what Wayne feels is worthy of chat.
I think it's quite pitiful
That we need a committeeful
Of people to pick a darn hat.
Josh (US Army in Korea): Hey Score Bard, Given the Japanese position players that are starting to jump to the Majors, what kind of numbers do you think a Japanese player will need to put up to be considered for the Hall of Fame, given the length of their contracts with the Japanese teams? And do you think that the voters will consider their combined accomplishments in both the majors and Japan (ie, what they might have accomplish if all of the time was in MLB) when voting?
I think that they will have to play
Their best years in the USA.
If their peaks span
Their years in Japan
The votes will not come their way.
Don (Mtn. View, CA): Score Bard, Now that Bernie Williams is out 4-6 weeks, Nick Johnson is out, Karsay will not return this year, do the Yankees need to make some moves?
If they do not want George's grief,
They will acquire some relief.
CBeatty (Denver): Score Bard, when your commentating a game, are you watching the field or the t.v, or both? Did the pitch calls look as "off" to you Wed. night (Sox-Yanks) as they did from my livingroom? Thanks, chief.
When I'm at the park
My TV is dark,
And please, sir, do not call me chief.
Al Morgan: Little Rock, AR: Good morning Score Bard! I really appreciate your keen insight and the wisdom that you possess in the game of Baseball. Are the Braves really as good as their record indicates, or are they just playing over their heads right now? They have really rebounded from the horrible start this season. Will they be the team to beat in the NL East?
I can't give enough of my raves
To the play of the Atlanta Braves.
I thought that the Phils
Would be leading in thrills
But Mesa's no Smoltz with the saves.
Mark Hageman, Cincinnati, Ohio: Hi Score Bard. You're probably aware that the Reds' Joe Nuxhall is nearing retirement. I would like to go on the record as stating that my first pick for his replacement would be... the Score Bard!
That's nice of you, Mark, to declare,
But I doubt that I'll be on the air.
For you see, I can't rhyme
All of the time,
I need some lead time to prepare.
Joey, Nj: Do you think the Expos are going to be playing elsewhere next year, where do you think they could be playing, could it be Oregon possibly?
I think Portland's efforts will fail;
They won't go the Oregon Trail.
For Selig, you see,
Wants a team in DC,
The other talk's just a tall tale.
Jim (Bayfield, WI): Score Bard - Is there anything good to say about the Brewers? Tell me there's something! Thanks.
I'm sorry that you are so glum.
It's sad what that team has become.
There's just one thing to say
That could brighten your day:
Someday, your Prince, Jim, will come.
Maria (Wimberley, TX): Score Bard, enjoy your work. Have you read the new book "Moneyball" about Billy Beane? What do "insiders" such as yourself think about what the book says?
The best thing about Moneyball
Was being a fly on the wall.
But their statistical view
I already knew
I didn't learn much there at all.
Utek (LA): Hey Score Bard, given the success of Annika Sorenson, and the number of women playing softball in America, do you think there's the possibility that a woman would ever play in pro baseball? As an aside, did you ever take any swings against a topflight female softball pitcher? I know that Alex Rodriguez has stood in the batter's box against one, but he was too chicken to take any hacks.
Her last name should be "Sörenstam".
As for women and baseball I am
Sure that someday
A woman will play.
As for me, I can't hit worth a damn.
Jack, Moncton, Canada: Score Bard. Do you think Tim Raines has a shot at the hall of fame?
A writer who has any brains
Would vote to include Mr. Raines.
But he's not so respected,
So he won't get elected
Unless he goes out and campaigns.
Alan (Louisville, KY): Score Bard, You're style of announcing comes from being such an intelligent player. Do you think that being a former player gives you access to players who are usually reluctant to talk to reporters who never played?
The years that I played sandlot ball
Has not really helped me at all
Gain credibility
Or accessibility
I'm just one more brick in the wall.
Joey, Nj: Do you think Jesse Orosco is going to be playing until he is 50 years old?
Fifty? Now, that might be tricky.
With old players, teams can get picky.
Although they can play,
Teams might shy away.
If you think that's not true, just ask Rickey.
Tony (Arlington Heights, IL): Hey Score Bard, do you think Cory Patterson is for real this year or is going to tail off like he did last year. He seems to have gotten much better at hitting pitches up in the strike zone which has to be a good sign. Right?
I think the emergence of Cory
Is surely a pleasant Cub story.
As for hitting up high
Other teams will reply
By forcing him low for his glory.
Nathaniel (Weare): Can the Dodgers pitching staff carry them to the playoffs?
I think it will cause too much strain
And the pitchers will start to feel pain
To shoulder the load
On the long playoff road.
I recommend using a plane.
John, Snellville: what was a more devastasting playoff series loss and why. Losing to the Phillies in 1980 or the Mets in 1973?
The great games since I've been alive
Include the '80 game five
To tie it and then
To lose it in ten
Must hurt, but I think I'll survive.
Mike Rapier (Cincinnati, OH): It seems like Bob Boone likes to change the lineup every single day. Does this hurt the Reds, not keeping a consistent lineup in everyday?
I see nothing wrong with Bob Boone
Using a lineup platoon.
But if Kearns and Dunn
End up sitting a ton,
Then Boone should be called a buffoon.
Ryan (Fargo): Which is more important in baseball today....good starting pitching or good relief pitching?
If you're committed to winning
You need to make every inning
Thrown by your best.
So each team should invest
In starters right from the beginning.
And now, my dear friend,
We have come to The End.
Compare to Joe Morgan's answers.
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