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Offseason Anagram Rap: Rangers
2006-02-19 16:59
by Score Bard

Yo, Toaster, Let's Kick It!

All right stop, collaborate and listen
Old In Jeans has a brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me, trades just flow.
All chump playas just have to go.
No Grouchy Sin, Nor Green Sky,
Old In Jeans hits the bull in the eye,
Quick to the point, I'll give you proof,
We gonna blow the Onion Salsa Roof,
If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it,
Check us out: Vanilla Ice Dept.

Vanilla Ice Dept. Vanilla Ice Dept.
Vanilla Ice Dept. Vanilla Ice Dept.

Take heed, 'cause I'm a lyrical poet
We're animal fierce in case you didn't know it
Last year's chumps were far too nice
Now Rangers got some Jeers Not Lice.
We add Mink Wool Devil, plus A Mean Toad,
Join Bearskin World, kick tail on the road,
I Abuse Rhinos, I Air A Skunk, Too.
Make the other team stink instead of you
After they lose, they'll have Cried For Raccoons.
Now we Look Meaner, not a moment too soon.

If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it,
Check us out: Vanilla Ice Dept.

Vanilla Ice Dept. Vanilla Ice Dept.
Vanilla Ice Dept. Vanilla Ice Dept.

Yo man -- Let's get out of here! Word to your mother.

40-man roster:
PitchersB/THtWtDOB
21A Mean ToadR/R6-219011/23/77
73Abort FiascoL/L5-815001/20/85
58Abuse RhinosL/L5-1119009/26/68
71Anagram Goal RadarR/R6-417001/15/82
50Coffin Car SnarkR/R6-222009/11/79
31Cried For RaccoonsR/R6-223505/11/75
40I Air A Skunk TooR/R6-020001/13/72
53In Job EquationR/R6-322007/26/77
54Immerse A RazorL/L6-019004/29/76
51Jeers Not LiceR/R6-323002/07/79
36Jowls, Inc.L/L6-220011/18/80
75Labor MeterR/R6-319008/24/81
43Look MeanerR/R6-822509/10/81
70Lowliest TentR/R6-320009/02/82
39Men Told FactsL/R6-521002/07/83
33Mink Wool DevilR/R6-423012/24/74
59Posh JureR/R6-220008/18/82
47Shadow JinnR/R6-219008/05/72
67Solved One QuizR/R6-119007/03/83
41Uzi Jam DungeonR/R6-219505/18/80
44Vanilla Ice Dept.R/R6-222009/27/77
45Yak CriedR/R6-322010/29/74
CatchersB/THtWtDOB
27Jars AbroadR/R6-222009/05/75
15Ladder GrailR/R6-222011/03/79
InfieldersB/THtWtDOB
76Admiral IsobarR/R6-219501/05/83
5Alien RinksR/R6-017506/22/82
9Balk On ChalkL/R6-120011/21/80
25Hi, Linen VPR/R6-223001/19/71
3Joins AquariaR/R6-116009/21/84
10Lime Nacho GuyR/R6-119010/19/76
20Mulch Dallas GlamorR/R6-120012/19/78
23Rare Tiki ExamS/R6-322004/11/80
7Road MakersR/R6-120502/26/75
OutfieldersB/THtWtDOB
22Dead Dull CivicL/L5-1119010/31/73
17A Nice LynxL/L6-020010/30/80
6Bearskin WorldL/L6-020506/01/77
28Hen Neck VimR/R6-022501/07/78
30Jots BatonsS/R6-525007/26/80
14Wham StrategyS/R6-322508/25/74

Comments
2006-02-20 17:59:11
1.   Ravenscar
I'm nominating this for the greatest baseball blog post in the history of the interweb.
2006-02-21 13:05:57
2.   sasquatch
I bet that if the Phillies had known about Vanilla Ice Dept's musical talent, they wouldn't have traded him.
2006-02-25 19:16:10
3.   anagramnut
I've been doing some anagrams myself, for my own enjoyment, and I was amused to see some exact matches (ABORT FIASCO, BEARSKIN WORLD), pleasantly surprised by some that I missed (VANILLA ICE DEPT., CRIED FOR RACCOONS), and somewhat puzzled by some omissions that I thought for sure I'd see here (SQUID LOVE ZONE, GAYEST WARMTH).

Comment status: comments have been closed. Baseball Toaster is now out of business.