Baseball Toaster was unplugged on February 4, 2009.
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Mulder continues his yips.
Izzy has pain in the hips.
Join in the chorus
Of Cardinals with injury trips.
A plantar faciitis attack
Knocks Pujols off of his track.
Then what finally got 'em
Down to the bottom
Is when Rolen's bad knee strains his back.
What is an offense to do
When Sosa is gone, and Alou?
Um, nothing, I guess.
The lineup's a mess.
The runs the Cubs score will be few.
Which is fine if the pitching is good.
But when Prior is hurt, and then Wood,
And when no one can close,
You'll know how it goes:
You'll finish much worse than you should.
The Astros lost Beltran and Kent
While Bagwell and Biggio went
And got older.
The team made no bolder
Move than to pay Roger's rent.
With talent like that down the drain
They need to allow Burke and Lane
To develop their skill.
But I'm not sure they will.
Fourth is the best they'll attain.
Last year's whole outfield returns;
Dunn, Pena, Griffey and Kearns,
It seems such a waste
That one gets displaced
I guess that they'll have to take turns.
Too bad one can't fill a niche
The Reds need, like maybe, say, pitch?
They have enough pop
To hit to the top,
But the arms are a third-rated glitch.
It is the belief of this blog
That Williams, Redman and Fogg
Will trade W's and L's
Leaving Perez and Wells
To be the pitching staff cogs.
Then all that remains for McClendon
Is to get some more hitters to blendon
With Wilson and Bay
Then Pittsburgh can say
They're a team that is always contendon.
The Brewers have guys in the pipe
Who've been give a whole lot of hype.
Some say, "Not yet",
But I'm gonna bet
This is the year they turn ripe.
With Davis and Sheets at their peaks,
When Hardy, Prince Fielder and Weeks
Start to mature,
The crown is secure,
And wins will come often in streaks.
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